Monday, February 16, 2009

A rant

My BIL recently split with his girlfriend of 8 years. This was his 2nd serious adult relationship. His first was a marriage to my girlfriend. I became friends with his new girlfriend. I knew that the demise of his marriage to my friend was not her fault and I never blamed her for it. Over the course of time I was just as close to #2 as I was with #1. We spoke almost daily.

Unfortunately he has now moved on to #3. I am having a truly hard time accepting this. I do not blame #3 any more than I did #2. I guess I am a bit angry that I am in this position again. I get caught smack dab in the middle because even though he may be through with #1 and #2 I am still their friends, this is a particularly hard situation when I have to listen to MIL and FIL make comments about how this was her fault because..... They know that #2 and #1 were not completely to blame, however most of the blame from them has been placed on the girls because it's easy I guess. Which when you are a parent of one of the party's involved I guess is to be expected because you usually only really know 1 side.

I have not met #3 and honestly I'm not looking forward to meeting her which is inevitable. I'm just hoping to put it off as long as I can. I find myself not liking her for 2 reasons right now. 1. She allowed him to move in with her after 1 month. 2. She has a son that lives at home who is 7 years old, AND SHE ALLOWED HIM TO MOVE IN WITH HER AFTER A MONTH. I guess for me that sends off some real warning signs. Knowing someone for 1 month is in no way shape or form enough time - especially when you have an impressionable child at home. I don't mean to judge, really, but I have to keep reminding myself that each person's circumstances are different.

Okay, I'm done ranting. Thanks for listening.

2 comments:

Miriam said...

Wow, I'd be ranting, too.

cq4fun said...

Is it possible to remove yourself from the middle by not discussing any of them with the other three? Telling your inlaws that you really don't want to discuss it, or walk out of the room to do something else when they do? Could be a lot of bathroom calls, of course. LOL!

You are right, the 7 yo does need more consideration from his mom.